Free Ringtones And Text Messages

FREE RING TONES FOR YOUR NOKIA PHONES

1 :Jay Z ~ Dirt Of Your Shoulder :48, 5#, 4, 4, 49, 5#, 18*, 6**#, 59#, 5, 4, 48, 5#, 4, 4, 49, 5#, 18*, 6**#, 59#, 5, 4, 48, 5#, 4, 4, 49, 5#, 18*, 6**#, 59#, 5, 4, 48, 5#, 4, 4, 49, 5#, 18*, 6**#, 59#, 5, 4 Tempo: 180
2 :Jay Z ~ Hard Knock Life:58, 0, 8, 58, 399, 5, 1, 0, 2, 3, 0, 58, 0, 8, 58, 399, 5, 7, 0, 1*, 2, 0, 18, 0, 8, 18, 69**, 19*, 0, 8, 5, 0, 3, 5**, 0, 18*, 0, 8, 18, 69**, 19*, 0, 8, 5, 0, 3, 2, 0, 58, 0, 8, 58, 39, 59, 0, 8, 1 Tempo: 160
3 :Jay Z and Pharrel ~ Excuse Me Miss:(2)8*#, 1#, 09, 0, 08, 1#, 58**#, (7)999, 08, 1888**#, 19#, 68**#, 0, 69#, 58#, 19*#, 68**#, 0, (6)9#, 5#, 1*#, 6**#, 6#, 58#, 19*#, 68**#, 0, (6)9#, 5#, (2)#, 1#, 09, 0, 08, 1#, 58**#, (7)999, 08, 1888**#, 19#, 68**#, 0, 69#, 58#, 19*#, 68**#, 0, (6)9#, Tempo: 100
Because I Got High by Afro man:Nokia Key Press: 588, 5, 5, 5, 59, 58, 599, 588, 5, 5, 49#, 399, 08*, 5888, 5, 5, 6, 6, 0*, 6, 6, 6, 6, 699, 488#, 4#, 4#, 39, 299, 0*, 68, 788, 7, 7, 79, 6, 5, 5, 58, 2*, 2, 7**, 2*, 199, 08, 38, 38, 2, 2, 19 : Tempo: 70
I Know What You Want By Busta Rhymes%20and%20Mariah%20Carey">Busta Rhymes and Mariah Carey:

Nokia Key Press :28*, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2#, 18**, 0, 099, 29*#, 2#, 2#, 2#, 2, 28**, 0, 099, 29*, 4, 4, 4, 2, 58**, 0, 099, 29*, 2, 6**#, 6#, 6#, 2*, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2#, 18**, 0, 099, 29*#, 2#, 2#, 2#, 2, 28**, 0 : Tempo: 160

3: How Come by D12: Nokia Key Press 38, 6, 0, 48, 4, 3, 3, 29, 38, 39, 0, 38, 4, 4, 3, 3, 29, 38, 39, 08, 68, 6, 4, 4, 3, 3, 29, 38, 3, 09, 0, 6, 4, 4, 3, 3, 2, 2, 39, 2, 38, 3, 29, 38, 3, 09, 6, 6, 6, 6 Tempo: 90

4: X Gonna Give It to Ya by DMX:Nokia Key Press 68#, 6#, 68*#, 6#, 6#, 6#, 59**#, 5#, 58*#, 5#, 5#, 5#, 49**#, 4#, 48*#, 4#, 4#, 4#, 29**#, 2#, 28*#, 2#, 2#, 2#, 6999**#, 5#, 4#, 2#, 688#, 6#, 68*#, 6#, 6#, 6#, 59**#, 5#, 58*#, 5#, 5#, 5#, 49**#, 4#, 48*#, 4#, 4#, 4#, 29**#, 2#, 28*#, 2# Tempo: 80

5:Love Them Hos by Eamon:

Nokia Key Press 5, (5)8*, (6), (5)9, (3)8, 39, 2, 088, 2, 3, 28, 1, 6**, (5)9, 5, (5)8*, (6), (5)9, (3)8, 39, 2, 088, 2, 3, 28, 1, 6**, (5)9, 5, (5)8*, (6), (5)9, (3)8, 39, 2, 088, 2, 3, 28, 1, 6**, (5)9, 5, (5)8*, (6), (5)9, (3)8, 39, 2, 088 Tempo: 180

6: Cleaning out my closet RMX By Eminem:

Nokia Key Press 6888, 6, 79, 6, 0, 7, 7, 09, 68, 6, 79, 6, 7, 69, 788, 7, 199*, 78**, 19*, 08, 688**, 6, 79, 6, 7, 6, 78, 7, 19*, 0, 6**, 0, 68, 6, 69, 5, 0, 58, 5, 59, 5, 68, 6, 59, 0, 68, 6, 69, 0 Tempo: 80

7: Welcome Back By Mase:

Nokia Key Press 588, 08, 5, 08, 199, 088, 5888, 09, 5, 0, 1999, 088, 0888, 5888, 09, 59, 08, 6#, (5)#, 08, (5)99#, 08, 088, 0888, 588, 08, 5, 08, 699#, 088, 0888, 5888, 09, 5, 09, 6999#, 088, 588#, 5, 08, (5)#, 5, 0, 5, 599, 0, 088, 0888, 5, 488 Tempo: 90

8: Got Some Teeth by Obie Trice:

Nokia Key Press 09, 188*, 0, 19, 28#, 0, 29#, 2, 28, 59**, 08, 5, 18*, 0, 19, 18, 0, 19, 6**#, 18*, 49**, 08, 4, 18*, 0, 19, 18, 0, 19, 6**#, 18*, (2)9**#, 2#, 58, 0, 59, 58, 0, 59, 4, 58, 19, 08, 1, 18*, 0, 19, 28#, 0, 29# Tempo: 80

9: Regulate By Warren G and Nate Dogg:

Nokia Key Press 788, 7, 39*, 48#, 3, 59, 78**, 7, 39*, 48#, 59, 78**, 7, 7, 3*, 3, 4#, 59, 78**, 79, 3*, 48#, (5)9, 78**, 7, 3*, 3, 4#, 4#, 59, 78**, 7, 39*, 48#, 59, 28, 2, 2, 2, 2, 3, 3, 2, 2, 29, 28, 39, (3), 78**, 7 Tempo: 90

10: Afrodisiac by Brandy:

Nokia Key Press 28*, (7)9**, 18*#, (6)9**, 58, 6, 7, 7, 199*#, 288, (7)9**, 18*#, (6)9**, 28*, 2, 2, 3, 399, 288, 2, 2, 2, 199#, 78**, 78, 7, (1)9*#, 288, 2, 29, 2, 2, 2, 199#, 78**, 78, 7, 199*# Tempo: 112

11: Talk About Our Love by Brandy ft Kanye West:

Nokia Key Press 68#, 48*, 0, 4, 0, 4, 0, 4, 0, 3, 0, 3, 0, 3999, 0, 2888#, 4, 0, 5, 0, 59, 08, 2#, 18, 4, 099, 2#, 48, 09, 0, 5, 09, 0, (5)99, 2#, 18, (4), 099, 0, 08, (6)**#, 08, (4)*, 08, 4, 0, 4, 0, 4, 0 Tempo: 100

12: Hotel by Cassidy ft R Kelly:

Nokia Key Press 68, 68, 6, 6, 79, 78, 7, 19*, 59**, 088, 48, 48, 4, 4, 4, 4, 3, 2, 19, 28, (3)9, 38, 69, 68, 6, 6, 7, 7, 79, 1*, 59**, 688, 6, 4*, 4, 4, 4, 4, 3, 2, 1, 19, (6)**, 6, 3*, 38, 2, 1, 29, 28 Tempo: 90

13: F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back) By Eamon:

Nokia Key Press (4)88*, 4, (4), 49, 088, (6)8**#, (4)*, 4, (5), 499, (4)88, 4, (4), (4), 1, (6)**#, (4)*, 4, (5), 499, (4)88, 4, (4), (4), 4, (6)**#, (4)*, 4, (5), 499, (4)88, 4, (4), 49, 088, (6)8**#, (4)*, 2#, (2)#, 299#, 0 Tempo: 70

14: Jenny from the Block By Jennifer Lopez :

Nokia Key Press 588#, 59#, 5#, 48#, 59#, 099, 68#, 69#, 6#, 78, 19*#, 099, 78**, 29*#, 1#, 78**, 59#, 099, 68#, 19*#, 6**#, 58#, 59, 099, 58#, 59#, 5#, 48#, 59#, 099, 68#, 69#, 6#, 78, 19*#, 099, 78**, 29*#, 1#, 78**, 59#, 099, 68#, 19*#, 6**#, 58#, 59 Tempo: 90

15: All I Have By Jennifer Lopez and LL Cool J :

Nokia Key Press 5*, 1*, 7**, 58, 59, 3, (6), 599, 0, 088, 588, 1*, 7**, 58, 59, 38, 39, 2, 199, 0, 0888, 6888, 19*, 1, 2, 18, 19, 7**, 6, (5)99, 08, 088, 0888, 588, 1*, 7**, 58, 59, 38, 39, 2, 199, 388, 2, (1)9 Tempo: 160

16: Through the Wire by Kanye West;

Nokia Key Press 68, 7, (1)9*, (6)**, 68, 7, 19*, 3, 2, 1, (7)**, 68, 599, 088, (4)8*, (4), 48, 49, 3, 39, 188, 39, 38, 599, 388, 49, 38, 299, 288, 39, 2, 1, 78**, 6999 Tempo: 180

17: Jesus Walks by Kanye West;

Nokia Key Press 49, 3, 28, 1, 6, 1, 49, 3, 28, 19, 28, 49, 3, 28, 1, 6, 1, 49, 3, 28, 19, 28 Tempo: 225

18: It All Falls Down By Kanye West Ft Syleena Johnson:

Nokia Key Press 28#, 4#, 5#, 6#, (6)9#, 59#, 188#, 1#, (1)9*#, 6**#, 58#, (5)9#, 688#, 5#, 49999#, 0888, 1888#, 4#, 5#, 6#, 69#, 18*#, 6**#, 5#, 49#, 18#, 1#, (1)9*#, 6**#, 58#, (5)9#, 688#, 5#, 49999#, 0888, 2888#, 4#, 5#, 6#, (6)9#, 59#, 188#, 1#, (1)9*#, 6**#, 58#, (5)9#, 688#, 5#, 49999# Tempo: 180

19: Stole By Kelly Rowland;

Nokia Key Press 28**, 4, 4, 4, 4, 6**, 6, 6, 68, 6#, 69#, 6#, (6)#, 08, 6, 6#, 1*, 2, 4, 4, 4, 0, 6**, 6, 6, 0, 6, 6#, 1*, 2, (1)9, 588, 5, 5, 5, 09, 49, (2), 08, 28, 2, 2, 4, 29#, 2, 1, 6**#, (5), 08, 6# Tempo: 80

20: The Jump Off By Lil Kim:

Nokia Key Press 488*, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4**, 4*, 4, 4, 4, 4, 6**#, 4*, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 6#, 5#, 49#, 49 Tempo: 90

21: I Don’t Wanna Know By Mario Winans & Puff Daddy:

Nokia Key Press 4*#, 3, 2, 1#, 299, 088, 488**#, 7, 2*, 19#, 1#, 28, 1#, 7**, 1*#, (2)99, 7888**, 1*#, 29, 39, 3, 48#, 3, 2, 1#, (7)9**, 788, 1*#, 29, 18#, 79**, 78, 19*#, (1)9#, 688**, 7, 19*#, 78**, 69, 68, 7999, 5888, 6, 79, 78, 79, (6), 69, 388, 4#, 69 Tempo: 225

22: Shake Your Tail Feather by Nelly Feat P Diddy & Murphy Lee:

Nokia Key Press 09, 08, 488, 09, 5#, 09, 4, 0, 4, 4, 099, 09, 4, 09, 5#, 09, 4, 0, 4, 4, 0999, 09, 4, 09, 5#, 09, 4, 0, 4, 4, 099, 09, 4, 09, 5#, 09, 4, 0, 4, 4, 099, (1)999*, 68**#, (5)9, 08, (5), 08, (1), 08, (1)* Tempo: 70

23: Snake by R Kelly feat Big Tigger:

Nokia Key Press 188*, 1, 1, 1, 6**#, 5#, 5, 0, 4, 0, 09, 5#, 4, 09, 1*, 1, 1, 1, 6**#, 6#, 6#, 0, 1*, 0, 09, 5**#, 4, 09, 1*, 1, 1, 1, 6**#, 5#, 5, 0, 4, 0, 09, 5#, 4, 09, 1*, 1 Tempo: 90

24: Fiesta by R Kelly ft Jay Z:

Nokia Key Press 18*, (1), (1), (1), 18, 6**, 6, 19*, 6**, 68, 6, 1*, 6**, 69, 68, (1)9*, 68**, 6, 09, 19*, (1), (1), 19, 688**, 6, 19*, 6**, 1*, 6**, 18*, 1, 6**, (1)9*, 0, 08, 68**, 59, 58, 6, 79, 68, 6, 59, 58, 6, 79, 6, 58, 5, 69 Tempo: 125

25: Sunshine by Twista:

Nokia Key Press 788, 1*#, 7**, 0, 7, 5#, 099, 7, 0, 7, 0, 5#, 09, 0, 7, 0, 7, 5#, 09, 0, 5#, 7, 0, 7, 0, 5#, 09, 0, 7, 0, 7, 5#, 099, 7, 0, 7, 5#, 099, 7, 0, 7, 19*#, 78**, 5, 49#, 38, 5, 09, 0, 7 Tempo: 100

26: Slow Jamz by Twista ft Kanye West :

Nokia Key Press 5*, 58, 28#, 1999, 1888**, 0, 29*#, 5, 5, 5, 5, 29#, 188**, 0, 29*#, 5, 5, 5#, 59, 28#, 0, 2#, 5#, 5#, 5, 5, 2#, 2#, 1, 6**#, 18*, 6**#, (1)999*, 188**, 58#, 0, 09, 099, 5#, 0, 09, 5#, 0, 5, 0, 4, 0, 09, 099 Tempo: 140

27: You Make Me Wanna By Blue:

Nokia Key Press 78, 2*, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 7**, 2*, 2, 2, 7**, 39*, 08, 58**, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 7, 69, (5)8, 08, 59, 08, 28, 0, 3, 5, 3, 5, 09, 2, 3, 5, 5, 3, 6, 09, 5, 6, 6, 6, (6), 09, 08 Tempo: 160

28: A new day has come By Celine Dion:

Nokia Key Press 78, 1*#, (2)9, (1)#, 7**, (6), (5), 4#, 39, 088, (4)8#, 38, 299, 088, 788, 1*#, (2)9, (1)#, 7**, (6), (4)#, 7, (6)9, 088, 388, 3, 0, 399, 788, 1*#, (2)9, (1)#, 7**, 69, 088, 588, 49#, 39, 088, 288, 49#, 38, 299, 08, 288*, 2999, 6, 3 Tempo: 200

29: White Flag by Dido:

Nokia Key Press 0, (6)8*, 08, (6), 08, (6), 08, 69, 08, 5, 08, 4, 08, 4, 099, 08, 58, 69, (6)#, 6, 5, 4, 09, 1, 08, 18, 19, 2, 09, 0, 6, 6, 5, 4, 0, 4, 08, 4, 08, 48, 59, (6), 49, 09, 288, 49, 59, 0, 088, 0888 Tempo: 160

CHRISTMAS RINGTONES;

1: Mary’s Boy Child By Boney M:

Nokia Key Press 58, 5, 59, 0888, 1*, 1, 0888, 6**, 48, 29, 0888, 68, 6, 59, 78, 69, 4, 3, 088, 58, 5, 088, 39*, 2, 18, 0, 69**, 48, 29, 08, 68, 59, 1*, 78**, 29*, 1Tempo: 125

2: Christmas Theme by Jingle Bell Rock :

Nokia Key Press 1888*, 099, 199, 1, 0, 78**, 0, 08, 79, 7, 0, 6, 088, 7, 6, 0, 3, 09, 0, 6, 088, 7, 6, 08, 088, 3, 0, 5, 0, 6, 088, 7, 6, 0, 4, 09, 0, 2, 088, 3, 4, 0, 5, 0, 6, 0, 2, 088, 3, 4 Tempo: 125

3: Christmas Theme by Jingle Bells:

Nokia Key Press 79, 7, 7, 0, 7, 7, 7, 0, 7, 2*, 5**, 6, 79, 18*, 1, 19, 78**, 7, 79, 78, 6, 6, 7, 69, 28* Tempo: 225

4: Christmas Theme by Silent Night:

Nokia Key Press (6)8, 78, 69, 49#, 08, (6)8, 78, 69, 49#, 08, (3)8*, 28#, 39, 19#, 08, (2)8, 18#, 29, 69** Tempo: 90

5: Christmas Theme by the First Noel:

Nokia Key Press (3)88, 08, 29, (1)9, 28, 3, (4)8, 08, (5)99, 08, 688, 0, (7), 08, 199*, 7**, 6, (5), 08, (6)88, 08, (7), 08, 199*, 7**, 6, 5, 6, 7, 1*, 5**, 0, (3)Tempo: 112

6: Christmas Theme by Twelve Days of Christmas :

Nokia Key Press (1)88, (1), (1)9, (4)8, (4), (4)9, (3)8, (4), (5), (6), (6)#, (5), 699, 0888, (6)88#, (1)9*, (2)8, (6)**#, (6), (4), (5)9, 499, (1)888, (1), (1), (4), (4), (4), (4)9, (3)8, (4), (5), (6), (6)#, (5), (6)99, (1)8*, (5)8**, (6), (6)9#, (6)8, (6)#, (1)9*, (2)8, (6)**#, (6), (4), (5)9, (4)9 Tempo: 90

7: Christmas Theme By We Wish You A Merry Christmas:

Nokia Key Press 1*, 4, 48, 5, 4, 3, 29, 6**#, 2*, 5, 58, 6, 5, 4, 39, 1, 3, 6, 68, 6#, 6, 5, 49, 2, 18, 1, 29, 5, 3, 49, 18, 4, 4, 4, 39, 38, 4, 3, 2, 19, 18, 6, 58, 5, 4, 4, 19*, 1**, 18, 1 Tempo: 112

4:Jay Z and Beyonce ~ Bonnie and Clyde:488*, 4, 49, 48, 4, 49, 38, (3)9, 3, 7**, 78, 7, 29*, 19, 78**, 2*, 19, 488, 4, 49, 48, 4, 49, 38, (3)9, 3, 7**, 78, 7, 29*, 19, 78**, 2*, 19, 488, 4, 49, 48, 4, 49, 38, (3)9, 3, 7**, 78, 7, 29*, 19, 78**, 2*,Tempo: 90
5:Beyonce Knowles ~ Crazy In Love:48 0 5*# 6# 1* 5*# 6*# 1* 6**# 6**# 19* 58**# 4 09 4 0 5*# 6# 1* 5*# 6*# 1* 6**# 6**# 19* 58**# 4 09 4 0 5*# 6# 1* 5*# 6*# 1* 6**# 6**# 49* 48 5# 09 4** 0 5*# 6# 1* 5*# 6*# 1* Tempo: 160
6:Shakira ~ Whenever Wherever:58*#, (5)9#, 3, 0, 68, (6)9, 5#, 0, 58#, (5)9#, 3, 4#, 4#, 3, (2)8#, 08, 19#, 18#, (3)9, 5#, 1#, 1#, 3, 09, 78**, (7)9*, 3, 7**, 6, 5# Tempo: 200
7:P Diddy F/ Usher ~ I Need A Girl:28*#, 2#, 2#, 29#, 4**#, (1)#, (4)#, (1)#, 18*#, 1#, 1#, 19#, 08, 48**#, (1)9#, (6)#, (7), 78, 7, 7, (7)9, 48#, (7)9, (1)#, (6)#, 68#, 6#, 6#, (6)9#, 08, (4), (1)#, (2)# Tempo: 180
8:Usher ~ Burn:18*#, 5**#, 1*#, 1#, 19#, 58**#, 1*#, 1#, 49, 18#, 1#, 5**#, 2*#, 19#, 588**#, 5#, 199*#, 588**#, 5#, 6#, 5#, 199*#, 58**#, 49*, 18#, 1#, 19#, 58#, 5#, 5#, 58#, 5#, 59#, 4, 49, 188*, 1, 19, 1, 1#, 1, 4**, 1#, 499, 288#, 1#, 2#, 1#, (2)99#, 1888# Tempo: 140
9:Usher ~ Yeah;58, 2, 5, 29, 288, 2, 49, 5, 2, 2, 4, 58, (6)9, 4, 2, 1, 5, 2, 5, 29, 288, 2, 49, 5, (5), 28, 49, 58, (6)9, 6#, 6, 5, 5, 2, 5, 29, 288, 2, 49, 5, 5, 2, 4, 58, (6)9, 4, 2, 1, 5, 2 Tempo: 112
10:Usher ~ You Remind Me:188*#, 1#, 19#, 6**#, 5#, 4#, (2)9#, 58#, (4)9, 28#, (4)9#, 188*#, 1#, 19#, 6**#, 5#, 4#, (2)9#, 58#, (4)9, 18*#, (1)9#, 188#, 1#, 19#, 6**#, 5#, 4#, (2)9#, 58#, (4)9, 28, 299#, 08, 288#, 28#, 49#, 48#, 49#, 4#, 6#, 59#, 48, 499# Tempo: 100
11:Eamon ~ F**k It (I Dont Want You Back):(4)88*, 4, (4), 49, 088, (6)8**#, (4)*, 4, (5), 499, (4)88, 4, (4), (4), 1, (6)**#, (4)*, 4, (5), 499, (4)88, 4, (4), (4), 4, (6)**#, (4)*, 4, (5), 499, (4)88, 4, (4), 49, 088, (6)8**#, (4)*, 2#, (2)#, 299#, 0
Tempo: 70
12:Christina Milian ~ Am To Pm:2#, 28#, 2#, 2#, 0, 2, 0, 29#, 09, 08, 28#, 2#, 2#, 2#, 2#, 2#, 0, 2, 0, 29#, 09, 0, 28#, 2#, 2#, 2#, 29#, 5, 1, 09, 08, 18, 29#, 18, 1, 29#, 1 Tempo: 200
13:Christina Milian ~ When You Look At Me;7888, 7, 7, 7, 79, 78, 6, 0, 59, 38, 09, 3, 59, 3, 58, 69, 78, 09, 69, 5, 68, 5, 09, 69, 59, 08, 388, 59, 3, 58, 69, 78, 0, 69, 48#, 099, 7, 7, 7, 7, 79, 78, 6, 0, 59, 38, 09, 3, 59, 3 Tempo: 70
14:George Harrison ~ My Sweet Lord:1**#, 1#, 2#, 4#, 2#, 49#, 48#, 49#, 18#, 1#, 19#, 3, 2#, 6**#, (5)#, (7)**, 2*#, 28#, (1)9#, 1*#, 6**#, 68#, 59#, (7)**, 2*#, 28#, (1)9#, 1*#, 6**#, 68#, 59#, (7)**, 2*#, 28#, 19#, 18*#, 29#, 6**#, 68#, 59#, (7)**, 2*#, 28#, (1)9#, 18*#, 1#, 2#, 4#, 2#, Tempo: 225

You only have 160 characters to type out a message (sometimes less). So learning short hand and slang is a must for those who want to cram everything into one message. Below is a list of txt slang and abbrieviatons, If you cant find what you're for looking here, you should request it in the

SMS FORUM.

 funny sms

 humor

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake?

Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

Hi i am dying to c u, i want to talk to u seriously, but I cant get 2 u, dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo!

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
word games

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??

Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!

Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!

Hello!Im a little alien called Ted.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with your thumb!

This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!

A)Ur Attractive B)Ur Buff C)Ur Charmin D)Ur Delicious E)Ur Excitin F)Ur Funny G)Ur Gorgeous H)Ur Heavenly I)Im J)Just K)Kiddin L)Loser!

HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press down* HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up*

Wot letters r missin in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & u get a heart!if u pick U,u will get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than have a heart without U!

if u notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing!!!

I have the "I".I have the "L".I have the "O".I have the "V".I have the "E"... so pls

 wrong person

wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?

You’re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming more like me everyday!

Uve got sex appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got class.uve got the face & uve got the body & ive got the wrong number!

Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh damn im sorry i have the wrong number

newsflash

NEWS FLASH: The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one off.

*NEWSFLASH* An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!

*NEWSFLASH* A woman was found dead in her home 2day!She was discoverd in her bath tub which was filled with milk & conflakes.the police suspect a cerial killer!

*NEWSFLASH* Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry (where do you think i shood hide?)

NEWFLASH tell all ur female m8s dat u can get 1000 tampons for £1.No strings attacthed but 4 limited period.Its a bloody good deal!

police

I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!

i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom

  reasons y

4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN 1)dogs obey wen u shout at dem 2)dogs dont shop 3)u can giv away ur dogs children 4)any guy can get a good lookin dog!

3 REASONS Y CATS R BETTER DAN MEN 1)cats luv u wotever u look like 2)u can stroke a cat wivout it thinkin about sex 3)u dont mind wen ur cat chases after birds!

Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)dey r useless until u turn dem on 2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless 3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums on the market!

Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantly full of crap

5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains ur car! 2)but still work right? 3)r u cold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!

miscellaneous

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!

Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru dis txt.so now ur smiling who wil it go2 next?

Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate.2 have & 2 hold.4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes.in text messaging & in poor signal.til low battery do us part?

girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

A good friend is like a good bra... hard 2 find- comfortable- supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart!

THE NHS REGRETS TO INFORM U THAT UR BIRTH WAS AN ACCIDENT.PLEASE REPORT TO UR NEAREST HOSPITAL TO BE PUT DOWN.WE APOLOGISE 4 ANY INCONVINIENCE

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

why do i text u? its my choice its my way of sayin dat i remembr u. why do i remembr u? il neva know its not my choice its my hearts.

Last nite I lay in bed looking at the stars- the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....& suddenly I thought...where on earth is my roof?

If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me. If u save it thats bcoz u desire me & if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me. So what u gonna do with IT?

Theres an urgent meeting in the jungle! Everyones there.. lions, tigers, cheetas and ape, but the meetin cant start because the monkey is reading this text

God made butter god made cheese god made you for me to squeeze god made whiskey god made pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!

wise sms

life

A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things. Life is not measured by breaths we take in a moment but by moments that take our breaths away life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss it Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly Love ur enemys... It really ticks them off If you don't Stand for Something.You will Fall for Everything da poorest man on earth is not da 1 without money, but is da 1 without a dream To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world Look into the picture of ur present life, 4 the picture determines ur future It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what your not Be yourself, there are enough other people dont frown,you never know whos falling in love with ur smile if u can stay calm while every1 else is goin mad ... u probably havnt completely understood the situation! FRIENDS are like stars…you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they are always there!.. A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself.Reach out and tell sum1 wot they mean 2 u coz when u decide its the right time it might b 2 late! Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2 close ur eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest thing 2 do is to let go wen u want to stay Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think What do you do when the only person who can stop you crying, is the person who makes you cry in the first place? You might regret what you do- but you'll you regret what you don't do SO much more 2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin.2 let go is to learn theres sumthin beyond.2 let go means acceptin reality.2 let go is lovin more coz u only want the best. If you are the flame you can't be burned Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is why we call it the present! Intelligence is like a river. The deeper it is the less noise it makes warning Children playin outside cars can cause accidents.but adults playin inside cars can cause children by accident! Boys should tell their trousers that it ‘s rude to point be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old. When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken? boys r like mascara, dey run on da first sign of emotion while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1 all along If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on me. Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks love The virtue of love isnt finding the perfect person, but by loving the imperfect person perfectly. dnt be afraid 2 say "i love u" 2 d 1 u luv... for wen ur ready itmyt be 2 late... d 1 u luv may hav found d comfort of hearin it from som1 else.. If love isnt a game then why are there so many players? u luv coz u weep.u weep coz u hurt.u hurt coz u fail.u fail coz u try.u try coz u need.u need coz u want.u want coz u feel.u feel coz u live.u live coz u luv have u eva notcied a heart is two upside down teardrops Love's beautiful like butterfly when u try to catch it, it will fly away but when u cool and silent, it will come and touch u. So wait for ur butterfly!!!! they say true love is just round the corner i must be walking in circles Luv is like a glass. If u break it, it’s hard to fix, And even if you manage that , it’ll never be the same. People say dat wen luv comes knocking on ur door let it in.But sumtimes luv comes through a backdoor & by the time u notice its on its way out. God gave u 2 legs to walk.2 hands to hold.2 ears to hear.2 eyes to see.But why did he giv u only 1 Heart? Probably because He wants you to look for the other Should i be happy that were friends?...or sad coz thats all we'll ever be? Some thoughts are better kept unsaid.some feelings are better kept to urself.because love has its way of expressing itself despite the silence. True love doesnt have a happy ending.True love doesnt have an ending! Love is like a rose it blossoms then dies. Dont find love.let love find you.That's why it's called falling in love coz you dont force yourself to fall- you just do! If you want me to fall for you- you have to give me something worth tripping over. love is not how u 4get but how u forgive.not how u listen but how u understand.not what u see but what u feel & not how u let go but how u hold on. Love is like quicksand the deeper you fall in the harder it is to get out It hurts 2 luv sum1 who doesnt giv u d time of day.but it hurts more wen u realize dat sum1 u dont giv d time of day luved u & gave it up coz u luved another Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart love can sometimes be magic- but magic can sometimes be an ILLUSION! *In Reality*…. The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other Person...He's Playing Himself... You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see.but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel. the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love. love somebofy else People Fall in love not knowin y nor how.Its so special a feelin dat it doesnt require much answers.U just love no matter how stupid u become silly quotes Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature "inside me, There's a thin women trying to get out........But i can usually shut the cow up with chocolate." All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane! if barbie is so popular....then y do u have 2 buy her friends? I intend to live forever- so far so good Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say "are you gonna drink that?" Iv got 2 sit down & work out where i stand!!! Wen u smile the world smiles with u.wen ur down people will rally behind u.but wen u fart u r alone coz people will never stand by u! people ask me if id pefer 2 go 2 hell or heaven i say hell coz its nice and warm down there Im a nobody.. nobodys perfect.. therefore IM PERFECT!!! I didnt kiss ur boyfriend! I told his lips a secret!! I never met a chocolate I never liked! lifes not short its the longest bloody fing ull ever do!!!! I would stop eating chocolate.. but I'm not a quitter! dont pee in my pool and i wont swim in your toliet!

naughty sms

humour

friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx

(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!

8 qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend... Brave,Intelligent, Gentle,Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.

He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!

Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

Viagra now available in eye drops, you don't get an erection but you look hard!

T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network

I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!

flirt

I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!!!!!

I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead

baby i have an addiction problem.people say i shud go to rehab but i
always tell the m i dont wanna go cause im addicted to ... YOU

Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls destination.do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?

I like your style- I like your class- but most of all i like your arse!

Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!

I'm like a rubrix cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.

I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!

Of all the babes ur my selection.please dont giv me a rejection.my teeth are clean for ur Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!

If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?

north 2 north south 2south my best direction is mouth 2mouth

misleading

I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, Ihad to try it... i eased myself onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now

From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!

He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... DAMN MOSQUITO

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!

Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!

At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam

Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?

I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!

I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed

Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get out of my way!

misleading

I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, Ihad to try it... i eased myself onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now

From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!

He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... DAMN MOSQUITO

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!

Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!

At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam

Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?

I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!

I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed

Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get out of my way!

story

Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr i've been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!

A man go for blood test.nurse took his finger blood sample but cant find cotton.So she sucks his finger! He is so happy n he asks:"Can i get a urine test also?"

A woman standin nude,looks in the bedroom mirror n says 2 her husband, "i look horrible, fat & ugly.pay me a compliment", her husband den replies "ur eyesight's spot on!"

A boy n girl r dancin @ a Disco. dey kiss n stop instantly.d girl says 2 d boy “r u a mechanic?” d boy says“no y” d girl says“well get ya hands frm under my mini”

chicken and egg in bed,chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over annoyed saying"i guess we answered that question"

A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!

Little Girl:"Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut" Mommy:"u mean its small?"Little Girl:"No its salty"

an essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives.the paramedic asks 'how many fingers have i got up?'the girl replies- oh no i think im paralised too

chat up lines

do u believe in love at first site or do i have to walk by again

if i said u had a hot body would u hold it against me

im really good at algerbra but am having trouble getting your digit

can i have pic of u coz i wana show santa wot i wnt 4 xmas!

My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear!
Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast.

"r ur legs tired"? coz uve been runnin through my mined all day

There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?

if i cood re arrange da alphabet i wood put u and i together

ive lost my teddy bear.......do u want to sleep with me tonight?

is youre father a robber ? well who stole the stars and put them in ure eyes ?

U gotta B a parking ticket or something coz u got the word FINE written All over ya!

you must be a good theif cuz you've stole my heart

im no fred flintstone but i'll make ur bedrock

HERE'S 10p GO AND PHONE YER MAM AND TELL HER YOU WOAN'T BECOMING HOME TONITE!

miscellaneous

What sexual position do you have to be in to make the most ugliest kid?…. ask your parents

What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET

A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"

Wots da closest thing to a womans period? ur salary! It cums once a month.lasts About 3 or 4 days & if it doesnt cum every1s in trouble!

Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"

Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it's gone forever!

Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop you can't stop!!

love sms

what if?

if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u

if i could die early i would ask God if i could be your guardian angel, so i could wrap my wings around you and embraces you whenever you feel alone...

if i die 2nite i go with no regrets if its in ur arms den i kno i was blessed but if ur eyes r the last thing i see den i know the beauty heaven holds for me

If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!

If i were a tear in ur eye i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!

If Love & Friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares.those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!

If water was a kiss id send u the sea.if a hug was 1 leaf id send u a tree if luv were forever id send u eternity!

If i rote ur name in d sky wind wood blow it away.if i rote ur name in d sea waves wood wash it away.But ur name is engravd in my heart where nothin can touch it!

if u love me like u told me please be careful wiv my heart- u can take it jus dont break it or my world will fall appart

If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers.if a hug was a second i'd send u hours.if a smile was water i'd send u a sea.if love was a person i'd send u me!
 special you

Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all rolled into 1

Thought of u 2day,dats not new,thought of u yesterday + da day b4 2, ill think of u 2mor + my whole life thru & ill think of u 4eva coz i think da world of U

I have liked many but loved very few.yet no-one has been as sweet as u.I'd stand and wait in the worlds longest queue.just for the pleasure of a moment with u.

A special smile a special face.a special someone i cant replace.i luv u i always will.uve filled a space no one can fill!

Girl ur clever girl ur smart.girl ur like a work of art.girl ur sexy girl ur fine.d only thing u aint is mine!

i luv ur eyes i luv ur smile.i cherish ur ways i adore ur style.Wot can i say?ur 1of a kind & 24/7 ur on my mind!

As I lie awake in my bed.All sorts of thought run through my head,Like why do I love u as much as I do.den I realise its because u r u!

there was an headcount of angels in heaven,pandemonium strucked discoverin dat an angel is missin,pls call heaven &tell dem ure safe wit me,my sweet angel

I believe that God above created u for me to luv.he picked you out from all the rest cos he knew id luv you the best!

I love so much my heart is sure.As time goes on I love you more,Your happy smile.Your loving face No1 will ever take your place

 non-rhyming

I asked an angel 2 watch over u, but he back sooner than xpected!i asked y?He said "an angel doesnt need 2 watch over an angel!"

What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

When u feel alone jsut look at the spaces between ur fingers remeber that in those spaces u can c my fingers locked with urs 4ever!!!

I opened my purse and found it empty.i reached in 2 my pocket and found a few coins then i searched my heart and found u!dats wen i realised how rich i am

uv been called b4 cupids court 4 stealin my heart.trespassin in my dreams & robin me of my senses.uv been sentened 2 a lifetime wiv me- how do u plead?

1st time i saw u i was scared 2 touch u.1st time i touched u i was scared 2 kiss u.1st time i kiss u i was scared to luv u.but now dat i luv u im scared 2 lose u!

I have a little angel flying around with a hammer, each person she hits get a little bit of my love...I hope she beats the hell out of you...!

To live dis life i need a heartbeat.to have a heartbeat i need a heart.to have heart i need happiness.to have happiness i need u!

i asked God 4 a rose & he gave me a garden.i ask God 4 a drop of water & he gave me an ocean.i asked God 4 an angel &he gave me u!

Why do birds fall from da sky everytime u walk by? why do stars fall from da sky? cause like me they want 2 b near u!

One day u'll ask me: "whats more important to u- me or ur life?" ill say "my life" and u'll go and leave without even knowing that u are my life
kiss

A peach is a peach.a plum is a plum.a kiss aint a kiss unless its wiv tongues.so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise

Kissing you baby is my dream.Im the strawberry & ur the cream.Handle me gently keep me real keen.U & i together babes is passion so extreme!

wot kisses mean!KISS ON HAND=i adore u KISS ON CHEEK=lets b friends KISS ON NECK=i want u KISS ON LIPS=i luv u KISS ANYWHERE ELSE=...lets not get carried away!

Kisses blown r kisses wasted.kisses rnt kisses unless they r tasted.kisses spread germs and germs r hated.but u can kiss me baby im vaccinated

valentines day

8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning... i love you

I am opening an emotional bank account for u sweetheart,so deposit your love in it and you will get the interest

if i could die early i would ask God if i could be your guardian angel, so i could wrap my wings around you and embraces you whenever you feel alone...

it is hard to talk when your in love because when i look into your beautiful i get my breath taken away

R.for red ,red for blood ,blood for heart, heart for love, love for u ,u for me, me is u , I love u

Ur my strength, My luv, My heart.Ur luvn touch i long 4 so mch,Ur voice so softly dat whispers i'm ur's 4ever b mine my baby "I LOVE U"

ill drop a tear drop into the ocean & the day i find that tear drop is the day i stop loving u!

baby i have an addiction problem.people say i shud go to rehab but I always tell the m i dont wanna go cause im addicted to ... YOU

one day the moon sed 2 me, if ur lover makes u cry why dont you leave ur lover.. i looked at the moon n replied would u every leave ur sky?

When u feel alone just look at the spaces between ur fingers remeber that in those spaces u can c my fingers locked with urs 4ever!!!

there was an headcount of angels in heaven, pandemonium strucked discoverin dat an angel is missing, pls call heaven & tell dem ur safe wit me,my sweet angel

I am in da emergency room now talk'n to da doctor he says it doesn't look good he says I am going to die... If I ever stop loving YOU!

dreams

Ur only mine wen i dream.wen i wake i wanna scream.ur not mine im all alone.i can only text u on my fone.do dreams lie or r dey true-i hope so cos babes i want u!

If dreams werent dreams & dreams came true i woodnt b here id b wiv u.Distance is 1 thing dat keeps us apart.But ull always remain in my heart!

Y do we close our eyes wen we sleep- wen we dream, wen we kiss?dis is becoz the most precious thing in the world is unseen.Wen i close my eyes i c u!

Dream a dream 2nite as u sleep.smile a smile 2morrow that u may keep.may all of ur dreams and wishes come true cause i could`nt find a better friend like u!

 true love

i wish i was ur blanket,i wish i was ur bed, i wish i was ur pillow underneath ur head,i wanna b around u,i wanna hold u tight, & b the lucky person who kisses u goodnite

8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning... i love you

Uve won my luv now I luv u.This heart of mine I give 2 u.So keep it safe as i have done.For u have 2 and i have none!

There are a million stars and a million dreams, you are the only star for me, the only dream i dream

i dont have the measels, i am not confined to bed, asperin wont help coz i aint my head, i dont have back ache or the flu, its more serious...i am missin u!

Ull always be mine 4 now & 4ever.Ull always be mine 4 u r my treasure.Ull always be mine please tell me its true.Please be mine 4ever ill always luv u

There are Tulips in my garden,there are Tulips in the park.but nothing is more be beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark!

one day the moon sed 2 me, if your lover makes you cry why dont you leave your lover.. i looked at the moon n replied would you every leave your sky?

I love 3 things! The sun, the moon and U! The sun for the day, the moon for the night and you forever!

if i died or travelled far, i'd write ur name on every star,so everyone could look up & see, dat u mean the world 2 me

Wantin u is easy missin u is hard.Wishin u was wiv me wrapped up in my arms.Constantly think of u wen we r apart.Ive got the padlock u hav the key to my heart

How can u tell the rain not 2 fall wen clouds exist?How can u tell the leaves not 2 fall wen the wind exists?How can u tell me not 2 fall in love wen u exist?

Accidents do happen.i slip- i trip- i stumble- i fall & usually i dont care at all.but now i dont know what to do cos i slipped and fell in love with u

Love is like a golden chain that links our hearts together and if you ever break that chain youll break my heart 4ever!xxx

When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, because I did it and I found you

True luv is hard 2 find.Special 1-1 of a kind.But the luv inside of me is true.It appeared the day i met you!

It takes 2 to tango.2 to kiss.2 to talk & remenisce.so many good things cum in 2 & one of those things is me & u!

U say u luv me & want 2 hold me tight.those words run thru my head day & nite.i dreamt u held me & made me see dat 4ever 2gether we wood be!

1000 words 1 cood say.1000 wishes 1 cood pray.1000 miles legs cood walk.1000 sounds a mouth cood talk.1000 times ill b true.1000 ways 2 say i luv u!

Ive got ur bak & uve got mine.ill help u out netime.2 see u hurt 2 see u cry.makes me weep & wanna die.ill b right here til d end.cos ur my luv & my bestfriend

You can fall from a bridge, you can fall from above, but the best way of falling, is falling in love!

There are 3 steps to happy happiness: 1 you. 2 me. 3 our hearts 4 eternity!


 break up

If I get scared,wld u hold me tight?If I make a mistake,wld u make it rite?If I build a fire,wld u watch over e flame?If I say i miss u,wld u feel e same?

My eyes R hurting coz I can't C U, My arms R empty coz I can't hold U, My lips R cold coz I can't kiss U but, My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!

i heard someone whisper ur name, but when i turned around to c who it was, i notice i was alone, then i realize it was my heart telling me that i miss u.

4getn u is hard 2 do, 4gtn me is up2 u, 4gt me not, 4gt me neva, but don’t 4get, we’re gr8 2gether

I luv u & u luv me,I fought it was easy as ABC,u made me upset,u made me hurt,u neva tried, i new it woodnt work u didnt think,u didnt c,I really thought it was ment 2 b

sending you a hug to ease your stress.a kiss to make you smile and my heart to say i'm thinking of u. i miss you

among ur frens i care 4 u da most, among ur frens i lov u da most, among ur frens u hurt me d most coz....i know dats all im 2 u... among ur frens

Luv will fly if held too lightly.Love will die if held too tightly.How should I hold u.How do I know if I'm still keeping you or I'm letting go...

Luv can be bad,it can treat u lik dirt.Theres always a risk of u getting hurt.Luv is restless & luv is a flirt.Luv has places to go and people to hurt.

It only takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone & a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone

i hide my tears when i say your name but the pain in my heart is stil the same.though i smile and seem carefree theres no1 who misses u more than me!!

ONCE PEOPLE TOLD ME LOVE IS TRUE,
I DIDNT B-LEAVE IT TILL I FOUND YU,
NOW DAT U GONE, IM GOING KRAYZIE,
I WISH U WUZ HERE N TELL ME "I LOVE BABY"

Wot u see as truth wot u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies.although we may change & drift apart,ill always value u deep within my heart!

I miss u wen ur far away.I think about u every nite & day.Even if we cant b 2gether.I will miss u now & forever!

i luved u once u luved me not.i luved u twice but i 4got.u neva luv me u neva will but even so i luv u still.

Weve gone our own way our lives grew apart & weve made a life wiv another.but despite of how far apart we grew 2 me there still is no other!

Remember me and bare in mind A faithful girl is hard to find This is always good and true So dont go changing old for new!

i no u think dat u broke my heart but i knew ur game rite from da start. i saw ur game and played it 2 so look here playa da jokes on u!

So btween da miles & btween da years ts inevitable but its true.dat seasons may change & people may change but my heart always belonged 2 u!

Wen life changes & we go our separate wayz.u will still be in my heart til my dyin dayz.i tell no lie dis is true.da world has nva seen a freind like u.

I'd climd the highest mountain.I'd swim the ocean blue I'd do anything at all my dear- Just to get away from you.

As we go on we rememba all d times we had 2gether.&as our life changes cum whateva we will still be "friends forever"

Ur the one i love.the one I need.but bad mistakes Ive done indeed.in search for forgivness and happyness too.I want to say that I love u

friendship

sum friends e worth bein thrown,sum r good 2keep,sume r 2 b treasured 4ever;i think u r the one 2 be thrown in the treasure box 2be kept 4ever

wherever you go, whatever you do, you know ill always be there for you, so if youre alone , theres no need to fear, just give me a call and u no ill be here! x

On a silent night when friend r few, i close my eyes and fink of u, a silent nite, a silent tear, a silent wish,dat u were here!

dnt snd any msgs,i dnt wnt 2 c u,2 hear ur voice,2 think of u,2 keep in touch wid u!!coz da doctor advised me 2 keep away from sweets :)

stars have 5ends, squares have4 ends, triangles have3 ends, lines have2 ends, life has1 end, but i hope our friendship has no end

Although its quite a statement, Well it happens 2 b true. The best friend i ever had, Im glad 2 say its u!

Smiles 'n' Tears, Giggles 'n' Laughs, Late nite calls 'n' Cute fotographs, ill b rite here till da day of ma death best friends forever till ma very last breath!!

The years will come the years will go but with each 1 i wil always know whichever way the road may bend u wil always be my best friend

when it hurts 2 look back & ur scared 2 look ahead, just look beside u & i will b there.

i cant txt u roses or fax u my heart.id email u kisses but wed stil b apart.i luv u 2 pieces n just wish ud c dat i care 4 u so much coz u mean da world 2 me.

Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur life.but only tru friends will leave foot prints in ur heart. . . . .u left urs in mine -x-

The recipe of friendship: 1 cup of sharing.2 cups of caring.3 cups of forgiveness & hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends 4ever.

A friend gives hope wen life is low.A friend is a place where you can go.A friend is honest- A friend is true.A friend is precious.A friend is u!

A GOOD FRIEND ISLIKE A 'COMPUTER''ENTERS' UR LIFE.'SAVES' U IN DA HEART.'FORMATS' UR PROBLEMS.'SHIFTS' U 2 OPPORUNITY & NEVA 'DELETS' U 4RM DA HEART

"In ur darkest hour wen ur fed up & blue.just remember this I'll always be there 4 u.Im no angel N cant change ur fate.but I'll do anything 4 u coz ur my m8."

ur a mate wiv a heart of gold.how much u mean to me can never be told.ur sum1 2b talked bout so sweet and true.1 in a million dats u

A gun can kill some1.fire can burn some1.wind can chill.anger can rage till it tearz u apart.but da power of ur smile can heal a frozen heart

There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d gift of a wonderful friend like d friend dat i have in u!

Sum1 sum where dreamz of ur smiles & whilst thinking of u says life is worthwhile.so wen ur lonely remember its true.that sum1 sum where is thinking of u.

like a fallen star u fel into my life.u made me smile wen thingz werent rite..if hugz were water id send u the c.n sail away 4eva jus u n me.

R we friends or r we not.U told me once but i 4got.of all d m8s ive eva met ur d 1 i wont 4get.& if i die b4 u do i will go 2 heaven & wait 4 u!

God in heaven God above please protect the friend i love.Sent wiv a smile:-) sealed with a kiss.i love my friend whos reading this xx

A very special m8 of mine.in my heart all da time.to c u wiv a happy smile makes my life feel worthwhile.warm & carin ur feelins true.im glad i av a m8 like u!

Life can be hard & not always fun.But as night brings dark mornin brings sun.Wen life gets tough & no1 seems 2 care.Give me a call coz I'll always b there!

Tiny starz shinin bright its time 4 me 2 say goodnite.so close ur eyes & snuggle up tight im wishin u sweet dreams 2nite!

Uve touched my heart uve touched my soul.bcos of u I now feel whole.U'll always b my closest friend.u'll b in my heart 2 the very end.

Dreams r2b 4goten reality to b lived.desires 2b fulfilled & destiny 2b reached.where it began.where will it end.friends from da start.friends til da end!

Friends r angels that come from above.sent by god 4 me 2 luv.so wen u r lonely sad n blue remember ill be there for u!

roses

Roses r blue, Violets r red, Im crap with colours, but wicked in bed.

roses r red, poppys r 2, but ill do anything 2 b with you

Roses r red Voilets r blue 2 hell wiv da colors I really luvs u

Roses r red, sky lights r blue! Love is a drug and i'm addicted 2 u

roses are red voilet are blue, someone like you, belongs in a zoo, dont be mad dont be blue, frankenstein was ugly to

If Roses were Black and violets were brown, my love for you would never b found but roses r red and violets are blue, all i want to say is I LOVE U!

Roses r red, Violets r blue, God made me pretty, but wat happend 2 u!

roses are red, violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one
doesnt!!!

roses are red, violets are blue, a kippers a fish, dat smell like you, lets not despair,lets live in hope,dat one day ull discover soap

Red r red, violets r blue l luv chocolate more than u!!

Wonderful SMS Msgs I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox! This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said! I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u? You’re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming more like me everyday! Uve got sex appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got class.uve got the face & uve got the body & ive got the wrong number! Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh damn im sorry i have the wrong number Humour It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet! A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass! i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg! Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!! Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all! Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you? i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again Word Games Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down... MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN?? Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot! Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!! Hello!Im a little alien called Ted.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with your thumb! This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT! A)Ur Attractive B)Ur Buff C)Ur Charmin D)Ur Delicious E)Ur Excitin F)Ur Funny G)Ur Gorgeous H)Ur Heavenly I)Im J)Just K)Kiddin L)Loser! HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press down* HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up* Wot letters r missin in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & u get a heart!if u pick U,u will get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than have a heart without U! if u notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing!!! I have the "I".I have the "L".I have the "O".I have the "V".I have the "E"... so pls Miscellaneous NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one off. *NEWSFLASH* An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand! *NEWSFLASH* A woman was found dead in her home 2day!She was discoverd in her bath tub which was filled with milk & conflakes.the police suspect a cerial killer! *NEWSFLASH* Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry (where do you think i shood hide?) NEWFLASH tell all ur female m8s dat u can get 1000 tampons for £1.No strings attacthed but 4 limited period.Its a bloody good deal!